I'm holding on till Thursday, last day of major competitions before exams start.

April has been exhausting. I can't wait till it ends.

Seriously.
it starts off with :

Cross-Country Nationals.

and then NAPFA in the same (following) week.

Barely 2 weeks later comes:

800m Track Heats.

Directly the next week is:

200m IM and 200m Free.

Entering the Finals for 200m Free, I had to endure it a week longer than most other people:

200m Free Finals

And April is finally wrapped up with:

School's Cross-Country.
.
.
.
.

I tell you, it's worse than a marathon!
I can go join Iron (wo)Man already la.

*

I finally finished Geog. report.
15mins more to do chinese before I think I'll call it a night.
Bio is gonna take the energy out of me. Circulatory system is one of THE MOST COMPLICATED THINGS EVER OKAY, I TELL YOU. CAN DIE OF HEART ATTACK ONE. DON'T JOKE JOKE.

Stoooooopid.

Ahwell. I'll be taking a short break from swimming now, to work on my exam revisions first. I really have no time already >.<

I really should be doing something more important. But, ohwell. I'll study later.

25 deep questions that will really tell you something about me not stupid questions like "what is your favorite lip gloss?”.

1. What is more difficult for you, looking into someones eyes when you are telling them how you feel, or looking into someone’s eyes when they are telling you how they feel?
-Hohumm. I don't think either way is more difficult. I prefer to maintain eye-contact either way. Becauses usually, it gets the other person uncomfortable, and (being a sadist) I love to see them squirm.

Kidding. :D

Actually, I'd like to see who's got enough guts to look into my eyes when they tell me how they feel. Because I've got enough guts to look into theirs.

2. Think of the last time you were REALLY angry. WHY were you angry? Do you still feel the same way?
-REALLY REALLY angry? I have never been REALLY angry. Honest!
Unlike most people, ahem, I can keep my temper under check. There are many things that I don't take to heart, that's why what people say mostly don't affect me. But I'm just saying this because there hasn't been anyone that has ever tried to provoke my temper past it's restraint point.

But every point has it's limits. If you break mine, I am sure as hell gonna flare up, and you really are going to wish that you never even thought of doing it.

3. You are on a flight from Honolulu to Chicago nonstop. There is a fire in the back of the plane. You have enough time to make ONE phone call. Who do you call? What do you tell them?
-I'll call my sister. Tell her I'm sorry she's gonna go through it all without me. Tell her to inform anyone she feels should know, and tell her to read my diary because I know she secretly wants to.

4. You are at the doctor’s office and he has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? What do you do with your remaining days? Would you be afraid?
-I wouldn't be afraid. (: I'll tell my sister, arrange all the necessary stuffs, then drag her and someone on a holiday around the world. :D

5. You can have one of the following two things. Which do you choose? Why? Love and Trust.
-Trust. Without trust, there ain't gonna be no love.

6. You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late even once more, you are fired. Do you take the time to save the dog’s life?
-No, cause there's bound to be someone else along that road. :D

7. You are unfaithful to your spouse/significant other. Do you tell him/her? Why or Why not?
-I'm not the type to cheat anyway!

But, in this scenario, I'll tell my significant other. Chances are, he'll be suspicious, and he would most rather prefer to hear it out from my mouth rather than from someone else's anyway.

8. Your friend confesses that he/she has feelings for you more then just friendship. He/she is falling in love with you. What do you do/say?
-Uhm, wow. Give me some time to consider?

10. Are you the kind of friend that you would want to have as a friend?
-YEAH OF COURSE. I'M SO AWESOME.

11. Does love = sex?
-HAHAHAH NO. Love = intimacy and mutual understanding between individuals.
But sex = love. Unless it is rape.

13. When was the last time you told someone HONESTLY how you felt regardless of how difficult it was for you to say? Who was it? What did you have to tell the person?
-Quite a few weeks ago. I told him I seriously didn't know [what to do], and that I didn't want to go through the situation.

14. What would be (or what was) harder for you to tell a friend, you love them or that you do not love them back?
-That I do not love them back. Because that would be so awkward, and weird.

Besides. My friends know I love them anyways! :D

15. What do you think would be the hardest thing for you to give up? Why would it be hard to lose?
-Swimming. Because I don't just do the sport for the sake of keeping fit; I'm actually in a relationship with the chlorine solution.

16. Excluding romantic love, when was the last time you told someone you loved them? Who were they to you?
-My sister lor. Can't remember, but not too long ago.

18. Imagine: it is a dark night, you are alone, it is raining outside, you hear someone walking around outside your window. WHO do you wish was there with you?
-There is someone. I may not like him (as in love-crush-whatevs type like), but he gives me a sense of security.

19. Would you give a homeless person CPR if they were dying? Why or Why not?
-NO DUH. Because I might just break his ribs. You know how thin they are! And I'm no medical expert either.

21. You are holding onto your grandmother’s hand and the hand of a newborn that you do not know as they hang over the edge of a cliff. You have to let one go to save the other. Who do you let fall to their death? What was your reason for making the decision?
-HAHAHA. I'll let the newborn crawl around my neck/back, and then my hand shall let go of his. See? He doesn't have to die, right? win-win :D

22. Are you old fashioned?
-Uhm, it rather depends on what sense. Mostly, I don't think I'm old fashioned.

23. When was the last time you were nice to someone and did NOT expect anything in return for it?
-I'm nice to everyone and don't expect anything in return! what an insult, this question is.


24. Which would you choose, true love with a guarantee of a broken heart, or never loved at all? Why?
-You mean, with that true love I'll be guranteed with a broken heart at the end? That's bullshit.
But, in any case, I'd rather that than not being loved at all. Because I sincerely still believe that love is a beautiful thing. Just that I don't believe in 'love at first sight', 'forever love' type of crap. Haahaha.

There can never be a broken heart if two people truly love each other. The other alternative is that they drift apart, and there's no need to be sad over it mah!

25. If you could do anything or wish anything, what would it be?
I'd wish I could live my life all over again when I'm living my last day on Earth. AND not change a single thing within it.

YAY IT'S FRIDAYYYY AGAIN! :D

gen has successfully survived yet another week at school.
acievement! -nods head-

Well, this week passed by rather fast, actually. Unlike last week, all draggy and shizzz.
hahaha, partly also because I missed 2 mornings of school for interschools, ahhaha. xD

So, I now have two large loads down (200m IM and Free), and am more relaxed about the 200m Free Finals than for the Heats before.
Oh, and my 200m Free timings were like, super fail, haahha xD
32s, 37s, 42s and 42s.
I did a personal best for the first 100m, 1min09s, like, very unexpectedly. Then 1min24s for the next 100m. HAHHAHA. Crazy. xD
I think my 2nd and 3rd turns killed me. I popped out of the water like, before the flag. Legs completely died, lungs almost collapsed. Whapiang.

BO STAMINA LAAAH. SIAO EH.

KOH HUI YU. SUPER POWER. 2min08s. Broke C-Girls meet record by 1s. Siao eh, first lap 29.99s.

Anyway. I JUST GOTTA MAKE AT LEAST 7th POSITION FOR FINALS. DON'T CARE. MUST.
Which will bring me down to about, 2min30s? Hopefully, I'll be able to do it. Mmhmm. With 1min09s for 1st 100m, then 1min21s for next 100m doesn't seem too hard. PIANG ALL THE WAY LAAA. :D

Oh, and I finally hit 29s for 50m free. :D
I don't know when I'll be able to do it again though. :x
With that timing, I could've gotten through finals for 50m B-Girls! Whaaaa.

Today's training did 30.96s for 50m Free. I think, rather okay la. Can of course be better. ahhaha. then 50m Fly was crap. Must have looked like I was drowning or something. sheesh.

*

School X-Cty is next thursday! And I'll be running, competitively. Siao eh. I wanna get medal ah.
3.5km through MacRitchie only la, maybe can do in about, <18mins? Hopefully. Meh, I lazy run leh.

*

I am desperately waiting for April to be over. I can't wait for May. Even though it is full of crap like exams and such, heck. 1 more week till April is officially OVERR.

And talking about exams, THEY'RE LIKE COMING UP REAL REAL SOON.
So, I'm gonna leave here un-updated for awhile, because gen really needs to study. Someone should whack her. Tsk!
I need exams to pull my grades up, desperately.

Okay, off to sleep. Maybe going for physics tomorrow. Depends on my mood, I guess.
Gnight!

HELP HELP HELP!

TOO MUCH WORK TOO MUCH WORK WAAAAAAY TOO MUCH WORK!

Imma girl of few needs.

It's mainly :

-Sleep
-A little, I ain't asking for much, little little bit of time off.
-To swim.
-My original hyperness back.

It's not alot, isn't it?

Why, oh whyyyyyy?

*

I swam until my legs gave way today.
No, literally. Ask Deborah.

But still, no improvement in timings, and no finals.

FAILURE.

HAHAHAHHAHA! IT'S FINALLY FREAKING FANTASTIC FRIDAY YOU PEOPLE!!!

I SURVIVED YET ANOTHER WEEK AT SCHOOL OMGZXC.

Only about 4-5 more weeks of hell to endure(: , oh, and not to mention the torture of this weekends.

Don't you just love the teachers even more eh :D Oh, how I love it to hear that a test is coming up next week, how I love hearing that a quiz is 2 weeks after the previous one, how I love hearing assignments given out on Friday to be due on Monday, how I love looking at my list of undone things-to-do to be handed up next week, how I love missing lessons for swimming competitions and then having to do make-up sessions afterwards, HOW MUCH I'D LOVE TO GET INTO FINALS FOR MY EVENTS!

And also, I love how much I fulfill my promises. So I'm gonna sleep early for once tonight.

Oh and btw,

HAPPY FIFTEENTH SHERMAINE NAHHHHH! I LOVELOVELOVE YOU MUCHMUCHMUCH!

*

I got cut by a broken plate today. Mega-smartness.
Didn't know I had a wound until blood dripped all over the floor. My blood.

Ain't in no mood to do a proper post.

1. I can't stand school. No really, can't even sit on it.

2. I'm very very tired. I don't wanna go for anymore lessons. Buay tahan lah!

3. I have mastered the Art of Sleeping Almost Anywhere, a very long time ago.

4. I have now mastered the Art of Sleeping Just Anywhere. Close my eyes and I'm off to dreamland.

5. No, I'm serious.

6. When I blink, I wanna keep my eyes closed for as long as possible. It just feels better than keeping them open.

7. Even though I'm that fucking tired, I feel so guilty whenever I fall asleep.

8. And no, that does not just apply to lesson times.

9. If I sleep more than 5 hours at night, I feel guilty for not being able to do more work.

10. If I laze around on bed before dropping off to zzzzz, I feel guilty for not being able to rush out some work, even though I fall asleep in less than 2 mins.

11. I stare at the clock too much.

12. Sometimes, time passes too slowly.

13. Other times, time passes too fast.

14. Most of the times, they both happen together.

15. I can't believe I'm doing this to myself. Someone, please knock some sense into me?

ARGH. I DON'T BELIEVE IT!
I actually, need to FORCE myself to sleep nowadays. Shove away the guilty feeling and just sleep.

This is so pathetic.

T_T cry.






*

Hi, my name is gen.
I insist on using the lower case letters on the computer for my name.
Homework is going to kill me, projects are going to disembowel me upside down.
I want to swim, I want to get into finals.
I don't know how am I feeling right now.
I just realised that my keyboard ruler and scissors are lost. No thanks to two people. >D
I have no energy to think of anything right now. My mind's a blank.
No wait. It's full of chemistry, physics, bio, math, geog, and languages. Oh, joy.
I now go one day by one day, one week by one week. I don't give a damn what will happen next, like, seriously. What's happening now is what that matters.

I love to smile. It releases HAPPY PILLS. (:
like, really. Scientifically proven.

So, next time you feel sad or anything, just smile (:
and wait for the happy pills to settle in.






.
.
.
but if they take too long to settle, then that's your own problem.




.
.
.
.

crap. That's just sick. D:

I WANNA SLEEP I WANNA SLEEP I WANNA SLEEP SLEEEP SLEEEEEP SOMEMORE!

Sleep is good.

I want my perfect score for NAPFA

My entire body's aching. ):

I don't feel that nervous at all for Track Interschools.

I feel damn nervous for Swimming interschools.

I'm lazy to run another cross-country.

I don't wanna do chinese. ):

What does milk enlarge?

Shermaine has better song knowledge(:

Shermaine forgot to bring her wallet to school today.

I can type 67 words/min!

IF I EVER, EVER MANAGE TO CRAWL OUT OF APRIL ALIVE, I'M GONNA SHOUT I FINISHED THE DAMNED SCHOOL CROSS-COUNTRY!


and uh yeah. but the fun thing will be is when I get carried out of May on a stretcher.

I. Am. Very. Very. Frustrated.

Not over academic stuffs, I got over them after friday, after submitting my rushed-out-in-1hr10min-video essay critique at 5mins before the folder was due to close.
Furthermore, this week doesn't seem as rushed as the previous week... uhm well, not yet anyway. I've got a bad feeling that it's gonna get worse, but heck for now xD

Anyway, I just thought that my blog has gotten way too boring already, so sorry due to my lack of updates. School has been a wonderful learning environment lately(: so much so that I can't even take time off the all-interesting assignments and wonderful projects to update about my (no) life.

Well, awesome. This blog just screams for a proper post.

So, first things first.

.
.
.
.
.



I FREAKING SURVIVED WEEK 2 OF SCHOOL!

Can any of you guys even begin to understand how that is such an achievement?

Prolly not.

If so, well. Then does how 16 hours of sleep from monday to friday sound?
A scintilla of sleep that be about >4hours a day. I believe I have explained this in my previous post. That explains my tetchy behaviour for the past week. And not to mention the burgeoning eyebags.

I totally shacked out Friday night. After training, chionged out the Geog Video Critique (as mentioned) then, exhausted, deactivated the daily phone alarm for next morning (feeling rather good while doing this(: ) and was asleep before I hit the pillow. Snooozed all the way till midday.

Thing I love about alarms is the feeling you get when you deactivate them for the next day xD

So, I probably inebriated on caffeine, eyebag masks and the neutrogena roller thingy.
Such a lifestyle worth living, jaa?

Then from now, I have approximately 4 and a half weeks in purgatory, then another 2 weeks in living hell, and then GEN IS OFFICIALLY FREE!!!!
Now, doesn't that sound like a consternation? TEEHEEHEE.

Track interschools are like, in less than 2 weeks? Gulp.
IMMA SCARED. I DON'T WANNA RUN. ):

Swimming interschools are slightly later, 21st of April-ish.
But for this, I'm rather-or-so confident that I can do my best. :D
There's a down side though, I'll explain later.

School's X-Cty is on the 30th April, and I EFFING WANNA DO GOOD.
I don't care, one of the pretty medals WILL be mine, FOR SURE.
(hopefully)

I'm counting down to alot of things. Yeah, we all love countdowns, don't we?
I for one LOVE it. (:

ESTHER ESTHER SHERMAINE SHERMAINE!!! I WANT A GIRLS' DAY OUT/SLEEPOVER/MOVIEMARATHON DURING THE JUNE HOLS! Please say you guys will be able to make it! :D:D:D:D

on a different note,
Sigh.
I'm counting down exactly a week to something rather, (for lack of use for a better word) saddening.
The month of April is going to be a rather stressful one for me, and furthermore, some of the most important events of the year will take place. With you not around, I don't know how I can cope. I don't know how can I manage to do well.
But nevertheless, I made a promise to you, and to myself, that I would do my bestest best.
And I aim to keep it.
It's okay, I'll inform you of whatever that happens during the Interschools.
I certainly do hope that it would be good news(:
It's okay, it's just three weeks, I can handle it, no problem(:

On another different note,
SOMEPEOPLE'S BIRTHDAYS ARE COMINGGGG! PRESENTS PRESENTS PRESENTS TO BUYYY!!! :D

On yet another different note,
I hate the way the adults (and others, but mostly adults) around me have been telling me what to do and what not to do.
Different people say different things about the same topic! Can you imagine?
YOU! : Stop telling me to follow you! I follow whoever I want, and I shall follow myself if I don't want to follow anyone okay! You get that anot? I thought I previously made it VERY VERY CLEAR.
YOU! : Stop telling me to be obedient, until you begin to show me a good example! I have no obligation to listen to you and you menacing ways and threats.
YOU! : stop disturbing me la, please. Teasing is no longer funny when the topic hasn't been changed in the previous 2 years.
YOU! : please la, give me a freakking breather. You take up SO SO SO much of my fresh air, and still want to stain everything SHINY BLACK. I beg you can, don't annoy the shit out of everyone in class.
YOU! : please refrain from totally taking my (no) life away. I want to have a life, and it's not gonna just be based on school.
and finally,
You. please don't call me your 'sister'. Is that really all that you take me for?
Please, I feel really horrible already. Trying to cut you off in that manner is taking everything out of me.
I'm really tired. Recent changes have taken almost my everything. Don't make me continue on.


I feel like puking now. I think I ate too much for dinner.

oh, and if YongKiat ever reads this till here, I'm sorry I burst out at you on friday. I know it wasn't your fault you accidentally shot that rubber band at me. I'm sorry, I was just too tired, and edgy.

Hence, people out there, if I openly say that I DID NOT GET ENOUGH SLEEP THE PREVIOUS NIGHT, please don't try to agitate me. It won't be pretty, I can assure you. You've not seen how far I can get, and neither have I. People have limits, as I have my own. If you break my self-control barrier, I'll be very dangerous, raawr.

Otherwise, I'm a good little angel with a big round halo. (:

*COUGHCOUGH*

OMGOMGOMG. I LASTED THE ENTIRE WEEK OMGZXZXXZZ.


whaaaapiangehh. I am so pro manzxz. with a maximum of 4 hours of sleep per day, I LASTED ALL THE WAY FROM MONDAY ALL THE WAAAAY TO FRIDAY!


And yes, I hated this week. Seriously, everytime I thought of my due homework/projects undone, I feel like puking out all the contents of my stomach. No food, gastric juices also can.



Sorry if I was acting like some pissy bitch for the entire week, 4 hours of sleep a day is not good. Not good at all.



If there was anything I dearly missed during these few days, the top of my list should be (highlighted in ENORMOUS WORDS OF RED.)

• SLEEP.
• Time for myself.
• SLEEP
• SLEEP
• SLEEP.
• the days where I had zero eyebags.
  

uh-huh, yeah. I don't think I should put up my homework list that is due for next week and next next week and next next next week, I don't think I can tahan looking at it without puking again.

Oh yeah, and next time if you see me online at 1am-2am plus, don't ask.

Because I'll be too immersed in enlarging my eyebags to their fullest extent to reply to you. So there.

Okay. I should go sleep. I'm fucking drained.