The title is ripped.

My hair is tied up like some chickenbackside-cum-ninja style. I just plunked my big fat ass in front of the screen about 3 hours ago and have not left it once. 'Cept maybe to take that two subway cookies. I actually thought I was gonna be a guai kia and do parts of my homework, study and memorise the 14 functional groups for Teh, revise some chinese for the orals...

... Or just something more productive than just reading blogs.

Like, seriously! I even brought out all my thick chemisty physics biology and even the damn chinese o levels books. But sadly I didn't get down to doing anything.

Honestly, I fail at being guai. Sigh.

I think how I actually am in school, outside, at home, and even with different groups of people is very different.
For the people who know me strictly in-school-only, I bet you'd be surprised to know what I am outside of school. If I were to put it in a way, I'd say I'm very much toned down and covered up in school. However you wanna define tone-down and cover-up, it's your own problem.

'Cause in school, I'm just a normal 15-year-old who constantly talkes back to SWS just cause she gets on my nerves, falls asleep in every single class I've been in, mugs like shit before the exams, and loves the holidays to bits.

But outside, there's no end to all the hell that I can be.

'Cause outside, I'm not really your normal 15-year-old.
I talk back to SWS because she fucking gets on my nerves.
I have a fringe - that is used to cover my eyes when I fall asleep in class, though most of the time I have a jacket to do just that. But I'm just sayin'.
I mug like shit before exams cause I'm not like every other student in school, I swim about 12hours and maybe more each week. I'm not as free as you all think.
I pierced my cartilage on impulse, totally HAHAHA. Yellow advertised $5 piercings, so I went in and asked for two.
But that's only the beginning, you guys don't really need to know what I do outside school.

Y'know what?
I think being 15 is such a chore!
Whatever I do, people don't usually condone it just because, fuck you, I'm underaged.
Frustrating much?!

I hate it how some people still treat us, 15-year-olds like we're still 5-year-old kids.
Especially when they try talking in simple, often broken and repetitive english to me. Sounds like a load of bullshit, doesn't it?
I listen, *eyeroll* and *facepalm*. Please lor, my command of the english language is probably better than most of yours, can?
I mean, like, who, like, talks, like, like this? Or, some cham cham english-cheena-crap?

What's the freaking deal with SINGLISH?
Is it something for us Singaporeans to really be proud of?
Say what, machiam like rojak like that. Description, REALLY NICE, HOR.
If that's how you all want other people to look at you by, uncultured, unrefined, and uneducated, then by all means go do it to yourself. Don't drag me in.

I'm also not saying that I totally don't use singlish at all, la. Just ask my friends, they'll tell you.
But, with excessive singlish speech, don't you all realise that your writing style will be affected as such too?
I am totally DONE with reading twit-type blogs. Honestly. Y dhoo euu all wanna tok lyk dhis?
I shudder, while reading a common neighbourhood schoolkid's english essay, I really shudder.

Ugh, and what's with all the constant act cute and such? And emo? And, whatever labels you can think off. It's not too many, though, we're not in America.
Seriously. If you wanna get a nice photo, you just have to smile from your heart, and it'll be shown from the eyes. Throw on makeup if you really want it, or just darn go photoshop it, whatever. If your eyes are already smiling, anything else would just fall into place.
Rather than blatantly acting cute, fragile, and damsel-in-distress shit. Like you have no backbone and totally require guys to support you up. It just, disgusting.

Anyway, back to the kiddie thingy.
Okay, I'll say honestly, why are most parents surprised to learn that their kids have boyfriends/girlfriends from school, probably together for quite some time already, have had their first kiss, and well, I don't know. Think of other stuff yourself!
'Cause the kids know that their parents will never accept that they have a Significant Other (SO) while still in school!
What, parents know will be any good, meh? They also confirm won't allow.
And they don't even listen to the kids part of the story. Hardehaha.
Okay, okay. Granted that most of it is puppy love and all that, but really.
All that shit saying that "your parents have been teenagers once, they'll know how you feel."
Please la. Knowing how you feel doesn't mean that they will accept how you feel, right?

I'm talking this in a general context. Not saying that students should go all-out for searching for a SO and end up neglecting studies, cause that's just dumb.
Also, not saying that Primary school children should EVER have a SO. Can you imagine? I can't.

I'm talking maturity levels here.
If you're not mature enough to enter into a relationship, or if the other person is ALSO NOT mature yet, then you guys better not.
I've had enough of seeing people crash and burn in relationships just cause they rushed into it and figure out later that they cannot take the stress and commitment required in a relationship.
It's just sick, okay? Period.

Look, people, or at least normal and mature individuals, DO NOT rush into anything serious right at the start.
They give each other acceptance time, to get to know the other person well enough to begin thinking about such things. Many things have to be considered.
And then IF they get together, THEY ARE FREAKING NOT TOGETHER 24/7 CAN.
Think what? Have boyfriend/girlfriend already then everything else can forget already la?!
Oh, grow up, grow a brain, and HAVE A DAMN LIFE.

Anyway, my guess is that parents are afraid of their children getting hurt or something the sort.
Well, I can't disagree with that.
But, if parents don't let their kids grow up, and guide their kids in the process of maturing into a young lady/gentleman, then WHO ELSE WILL?

Teenage years. Added raging hormones. Plus most of the time frame spent in school. Throw in a couple of girls/guys, and excuse me, what do you think you will get?

Expected, isn't it?

People mature through relations, be it friends, family, and even SOs.
If they want to mature, at least must let them mature properly la! A couple of failed relationships isn't the end of the world.

Children look up to their parents in such things. If the parents don't explain it to them properly, then they turn to the internet, to the media.
And, it don't take an IQ of 200++ to figure out how the media portrays certain things. It's not completely healthy.

What is the end result of overly-protected children?
Not even having your first kiss at 18? It's a little, sad, isn't it.
(Of course, not saying in the context of my school. If you don't get your first kiss here, it's completely understandable.)
Being thrown out abruptly into society?

Ouch. Isn't it?

Honestly. Society has to relax a little bit on this matter, right?
(Especially when MOE starts encouraging the students to grow up and get married and the guy has to chip in to society by going out to work, while the girl does her part primarily by reproducing. Fuck that.)
Traditions are totally overdone. *eyeroll*

Nothing beats having a supportive family, yeah? :D

(But if all else fails, then I guess there is still Planned Parenthood, right? heh heh.)

Hahhaa, now I don't think you guys see me as the innocent girl-next-door already right? But really, I grew outta that a long time ago.

*

Okay, that was a longish rant, lol. It's almost 2.30am.

What're you gonna do, when the one who can stop your tears is making you cry?

Don't worry, I'm not actually crying. It's just a figure of speech to mean that, why the fuck is he being so bloody bipolar? I'm more of pissed off, really.

I shiver every time I think back. Yeah, you have that effect.
It usually starts of as a gut feeling in my stomach, that trembles up my torso and vibrates along my throat and hurricanes out of my system in a gasp.
Oh, very violently, in fact.

Oh damn I miss those times. Where I feel your taste lingers in my mouth, long afterwards.
The very same, toe-curling feeling, each and every time.